I love you too, Anon.
I get questions like this a lot and I’m finally making a blog post that I can just direct people to instead of typing the same answer over and over and over.
I can’t tell you what the scariest movie ever is. I can’t pick a movie that is guaranteed to scare you. I cannot find the one film that will make you want to hide under your bed forever and never come out. It’s not possible. Why?
Because fear is personal. What scares you is not necessarily what scares me. Our fears are built up over the course of our lives and every life is different. I haven’t lived your life so it is impossible for me to unerringly pick a film that will scare you. I can’t do it. No one can. It’s why there are so many horror movies and differing opinions on them. It is impossible to make a movie that makes the rest of the genre pack up and go home because the scariest film ever has been made.
I refuse to answer questions like this not because I am a bitch (although I am) but because it is impossible. To even make a guess, I need to know more about you. What do you fear? What kind of movies have you already seen that you like? What do you think is stupid and not scary at all? Getting an anonymous question where I know absolutely nothing about you, not even a user name, makes it a certainty that I will never be able to pick the right movie for you.
I do want to help people find amazing horror movies that scare them, excite them, and make them scream. I love this genre. But I’m not a wizard. (If I was, I would Lord Voldemort all over this bitch and make you all my slaves MWA HA HA HA HA HA). I’m more than happy to try to give you some recommendations. In fact, I do it a lot and you can check out those lists here.
If you want your own recommendations that aren’t covered by those lists, I’ll try my best. Feel free to send me an Ask. But first, tell me about you. What scares you? What horror movies do you love? What ones do you hate? What things would be in the perfectly scary movie for you? That will help me not just go “I dunno, the Ring?” to every single Ask I get. Help me scare you!
Hooray fellow Massholes! And thank you :D
Guys, I swear I had good intentions starting out.
I was thinking “Man, you know what we need? We need motivational werewolves. Because really, people area awesome, and don’t know it, and no one would argue with a werewolf trying to motivate you.”
Then I realized “And if a werewolf was dishing out compliments, It would comment on how nice you smelled!” And this was a good idea. I plan on redoing this sometime along with some companion pieces. It’s not the best, but good.
But then everything went wrong when I started drawing, and then, I had the horrible, awful, abysmal thought: “And I could draw it sort of in the style of Lisa Frank. The art of my childhood. Yesssssssssss.”
And… and I did this.
OMG let me tell you guys a story.
I was out one day and at a coffee shop after running errands prework.
This enormous Super Metal Viking looking Mother fucker who is scowling like he is about to lay waste to Lower Queen Anne walks by me, (I was outside) stops, backs up and stares down at me.
I was feeling like maybe he was about to do something good and then he yelled in this big ass bass voice,
YOU SMELL REALLY NICE AND LOOK PRETTY.
Then stomped away.
I think he was a motivational werewolf because I was feeling gross and ugly and upset that day and that moment made everything okay.
Thank you for making this OP and letting me remember.
This is my favorite story ever.